“If you are living for others and expectations from others of how they should be you will live a life of sadness & disappointment. Look internally, look within and heal those deep inner wounds”

As empaths we have to assertively create boundaries to maintain balance otherwise our whole nervous system goes haywire!Because as children we probably never did have healthy boundaries or didn’t even know what they were because we weren’t taught any.

The path of healing requires balance; we need to create boundaries so we don’t become emotional sponges, but we need to surrender so that we don’t become too constrained in our self made boundaries and become hermits.

The long term solution I recommend for empaths who struggle with issues such as co-dependency, emotional contagion and constant absorption energy is boundaries.

When you learn to how to establish boundaries you complete the process of individuation- developing a strong sense of self and supports our emotional and mental health. You’ll find as you start creating boundaries you’ll find yourself gaining more energy, confidence and inner fulfilment than ever before.

Here are some tips and practices you can incorporate into your life which will help you maintain energetic boundaries:

1. Stop trying to fix people

as empaths we have the tendency to want to fix and help everyone at all times. While it's good that we help others we need to remember that our well being is important as well. Not only that but it isn't actually our place to fix other people while we can offer our guidance and a shoulder to cry on our responsibility does not lie in fixing other others and their problems. we need to draw the line when it comes to giving how and remember that other people must ultimately take responsibility for their happiness, not asked to identify physical, emotional and psychological violations. Make a list of situations throughout your day that make you feel physically emotionally or psychologically uncomfortable or used. For example, did someone touch you without your permission, take your belongings or simply come too close to you, making you feel exposed? Did someone make fun of you or ask you for too many favours or manipulate you in any way that made you feel vulnerable? What least every day of people and situations which you feel have violated your energetic boundaries, the more aware you become of the situation, the better equipped you'll be to draw the line.

2. Learn to say “No”

There's no doubt about it saying no to people can be scary and strange territory as empaths we're so used to saying yes without thinking that we tend to associate the denial of other people's request as a bad or selfish act. Usually our inability to say no goes all the way back to childhood when we were taught the mistaken belief that we should always extend our help to others. No matter what, if we didn't, we were taught that this behaviour was self centred .We need to be aware of this mistaken belief, undermining, a lot of our thinking patterns, while saying no all the time to other people is unhealthy there are many situations in life where we actually need to say no for our own well being, or for the health of our other relationships. learning to say no is essentially a form of self love because it acknowledges that your needs are just as valuable and relevant as other people's needs.

3. Deep Breathing

Strangely enough, one of the quickest ways to become ungrounded and lose touch with your boundaries is through not breathing properly in the West we have the habit of breathing from our chest, instead of our stomach. When we shallowly have three while chess. We limit the flow of oxygen through our body making it easier for us to become anxious and lightheaded.The proper and natural way to breathe is actually deeply through your stomach.

When you breathe deeply you stimulate the vagus nerve in your body which alerts receptors in your brain to calm down your body's nervous system when your nervous system is relaxed, you will find it much easier to maintain, energetic boundaries.

5. Self Care......Give yourself permission to practice self care, creating and maintaining healthy energetic boundaries is about treating yourself with love and respect, without self respect you're constantly allowing others in their energy to overstep your boundaries and interfere with your life. One of the biggest struggles that arise among people are the feelings of guilt that are triggered from self care, self care comes in many shapes and forms it can be as simple as treating yourself to a nice massage or taking a break from work to a complex is setting specific time restraints, with people who sap your energy.

6. Notice your Triggers

There are many situations in our lives which trigger the weakening of our boundaries as empaths some of the most common boundary weakening situations involve extreme emotions such as grief and anger from others, romantic relationships, family obligations and crowded or congested places full of people. It's important that you identify your own personal triggers were paying close attention to your emotions and the physical sensations inside your body.

You might like to ask yourself what is the person doing, what am I doing that is triggering these feelings? What has changed in my surroundings that might be triggering these emotions? Make a mental note your triggers and be conscious of them so that you can be more mindful in the future, you might like to buy a journal and write down about your triggers to understand them better.