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We believe that people of all ages need connections that matter.

We have been experts in the field of Trauma recovery, Perfectionism, codependency, loneliness and connection. Our vision is that everyone can live a life free from chronic loneliness. 

The definition of loneliness that we use is: 

Loneliness is ‘a subjective, unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship. It happens when there is a mismatch between the quantity and quality of the social relationships that we have, and those that we want’ 

 loneliness is  ‘a discrepancy between one’s desired and achieved levels of social relations’ and with ones self and individuality.  This perspective emphasises the significance of desired versus actual social connections & disconnection to self ,so it helps us distinguish loneliness from social isolation.

We therefore understand loneliness as an emotional experience: a perceived deficiency in the amount and/or quality of someone’s existing relationships and relationship to themselves ( co-dependency & perfectionism)

Types of loneliness
There are different types of loneliness. The following three are the most commonly identified in evidence and literature on loneliness:

Emotional loneliness – ‘the absence of meaningful relationships’
Social loneliness – a ‘perceived deficit in the quality of social connections’
Existential loneliness – a ‘feeling of fundamental separateness from others and the wider world’ and disconnection to self
Other types of loneliness can include: 

Transient loneliness – a feeling that comes and goes
Situational loneliness – only occurring at certain times like Sundays, bank holidays or Christmas
Chronic loneliness – feeling lonely all or most of the time
Social isolation

Loneliness is linked to social isolation but it is not the same thing. While loneliness is an emotional experience, isolation is a lack of social contact. 

Loneliness is a subjective feeling, whereas isolation is an objective state. Social isolation is about the ‘level and frequency of one’s social interactions’ . It is defined as ‘having few social relationships or infrequent social contact with others’ 

Feeling lonely is not necessarily the same as being alone. Some people can spend lots of their time on their own and still feel content. Others may be surrounded by people but feel disconnected from them and lonely.

Loneliness and mental health
Loneliness is not a mental health problem in itself. However, loneliness and poor mental health are interlinked, each can worsen the other  and as such, they are closely interlinked. Meanwhile, social connectedness is associated with better mental health.

Trauma can also lead to loneliness . On the other hand, loneliness can negatively impact unresolved trauma. In our podcast, we discuss how loneliness and Trauma can affect each other, as well as psychological  & spiritual approaches that can help alleviate loneliness. 

As well as impacting our mental health, loneliness can affect our physical health. 

Experiencing loneliness
Loneliness is a negative emotional experience . It indicates an unmet need for social connection and disconnection to true self. People who are lonely might experience unwelcome feelings of isolation, sadness, and disconnection.

According to the UK government’s Tackling Loneliness strategy review, reported loneliness is higher for people who :

are 16-24 years old
are female
are single or widowed
unresolved Trauma
have lower neighbourhood belonging 
have lower local social trust
Experiences of loneliness can differ in their intensity. This can change from moment to moment, over different durations of time, and in different contexts. 

About Loneliness