Social anxiety is a long term and overwhelming fear of social situations. It can present as having a persistent intense and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. It can be limited to one type of situation or In any type of social situation. This can be formed from childhood or after an abusive relationship.

A child who grows up with no reliable human source of love, support, protection typically falls into a great deal of social unease. They “naturally” become reluctant to seek support from anyone,and are forced to adopt self sufficiency as a survival strategy.

Needing anything from others can FEEL especially dangerous. The survivors innate capacity to experience comfort and support in relationships becomes very limited or non-existent. This is despite the fact that many high functioning survivors (aka Workaholics) learn to socially function quite adequately. For example structured situations at work and expectations are clear with goals are easy to direct the focus off socialising and talking.

Unstructured social situations however like attending parties, or spending time with friends and family can be very triggering. Spontaneous self expression feels like the same set up for disaster that it was in childhood or the toxic relationship.

This involves hiding a great deal of anxiety and discomfort. And in worst case scenarios, social anxiety can go into social phobia, especially during flashbacks. Extensive childhood abuse installs a powerful people are dangerous program!

Symptoms include

• Worrying about everyday activities, such as meeting strangers, starting conversations or shopping.
• Avoids or worries excessively about social activities, such as group conversations and eating in front of people.
• Always worrying about doing something that they think is embarrassing, such as sweating, blushing, or appearing incompetent
• Finds it difficult to do things why people are watching
• Fears being criticised, avoids eye contact has low self esteem
• Panic attacks
• Feeling sick, trembling and racing heart

Social anxiety can also start in teenage years

Practical Help…..

• Thinking about or writing down what thoughts occur when you are in certain social situations
• Breathing exercises and relaxation techniques
• Seeing a therapist who specialises in anxiety to reprogram false beliefs and working through past Traumas.. you can book a free consultation with me to discuss further
• Breaking down challenging situations into smaller parts and working on feeling more relaxed with each part.
• Focusing on what people are saying rather than assuming the worst